Who is Judge Immergut? Trump Appointee in Oregon Blocks Troop Deployment.
Acidly: In a twist worthy of a soap opera, President Trump's military deployment plan floundered, thanks to Judge Karin Immergut—his own nominee. She decided the nation didn't need to trade constitutional law for martial law, deeming troops unnecessary. Meanwhile, Stephen Miller whined about “far-left judges,” despite Immergut's conservative history. Trump's response? A delightful mix of ignorance and anger, referring to her as a “he.” Ah, the irony of appointing someone who's now thwarting your ridiculous agenda must sting.
French Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu Resigns
Acidly: In a stunning twist, France's Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu resigned just hours after unveiling a cabinet, securing his place in history as the shortest holder of the title. Predictably, Macron's government is a hot mess—opposition demands snap elections, and chaos reigns. Lecornu, once seen as a political whiz, blamed others for his downfall. Unsurprisingly, he couldn't juggle conservatives and progressives without losing his grip. Now, France's fiscal future hangs by a thread, as Macron fumbles yet again. Bravo!
Italy bans rally honoring anniversary of Hamas massacre
Acidly: Bologna's prefect has decided to play the hero by banning an anti-Israel demo that might've caused a ruckus—because heaven forbid the streets get lively. Meanwhile, the protestors, Giovani Palestinesi Italia, vow to defy this masterstroke of governance. They’re all set to “glorify” a massacre while Italy's streets simmer with protests and antisemitism lurks like a bad smell. Oh, and a kosher bakery gets vandalized with "simply charming" graffiti. Bravo, Italy! Nothing screams “progress” like a nation divided by hate.
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Monday Night Football: How to watch the Kansas City Chiefs vs. Jacksonville Jaguars NFL game tonight, start time, streaming and more
Acidly: Oh joy, Monday Night Football is upon us again! The Kansas City Chiefs, sporting a dazzling 2-2 record, are set to take on the Jacksonville Jaguars, who miraculously transformed from losers to mediocre under their new coach. Poor Xavier Worthy might sit out, adding drama to an already thrilling matchup. So, tune in at 8:15 p.m. if you're keen on watching over-hyped millionaires throw a ball while you juggle a streaming service nightmare. Good luck—you're gonna need it!
Taylor Swift's "Life of a Showgirl" movie tops box office with $34 million in U.S. ticket sales
Acidly: Taylor Swift continues her reign of pop dominance, raking in $34 million in just a weekend with "The Official Release Party of a Showgirl." Who knew a glorified music video could pull in such cash? Die-hard fans, decked out in friendship bracelets, flocked to theaters, seemingly unaware of their dignity. Meanwhile, AMC is thrilled—after all, Swift's latest cash cow is the biggest theatrical debut ever. And just in case you missed it, Krispy Kreme joined the circus, serving doughnuts in Swift’s signature colors. Pure genius, right?
Watch the 1st supermoon of 2025 shine tonight with this free Harvest Moon livestream
Acidly: Ah, the October Full Moon, or as it's awkwardly dubbed, the Harvest Moon. Because who doesn’t need a toasty glow from the sky while they examine their wilted veggies? Mark your calendars for 11:48 p.m. EDT on Oct. 6—yes, don’t sleep, people! Astronomer Gianluca Masi will broadcast a "wonderful opportunity" to stare into the abyss online. Because staring into your phone at a live feed of a giant rock in the sky is peak entertainment, right? Enjoy your lunar revelation, farmers!
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Brad Gerstner on OpenAI's dealmaking with AMD, Nvidia: 'The best chips will win'
Acidly: Investor Brad Gerstner ripped apart OpenAI's fancy deals with Nvidia and AMD, calling them mere hype. "Great, another flashy announcement! Let’s see the actual chips chip in," he snarked. Behind the curtain, the AI arms race is heating up—think U.S. vs. China, but with fewer explosions. Meanwhile, DeepSeek, China's upstart, is flexing its cheaper, homegrown AI models. As OpenAI fumbles around hoping for production magic, the world watches in a compute-scarce reality. Buckle up, folks—innovation is coming... eventually.
Google Japan’s concept keyboard is inspired by rotary phones
Acidly: Introducing the Gboard Dial Version keyboard—because who needs the satisfying symphony of clacky keys when you can enjoy the soothing sound of spinning discs? Now you can type in blissful silence, perfect for hiding your crippling shame while you pretend to work. Nothing says productivity like a keyboard that sounds like a futuristic gadget from a 90s sci-fi flick. So go ahead, join the world of noise-free drudgery. Your coworkers will thank you for the auditory void.
The CDC says people must consult a health professional before COVID shot
Acidly: The CDC just made getting a COVID vaccine harder than an entry exam for a PhD. Thanks to Acting Director Jim O'Neill and his buddy Robert F. Kennedy Jr., you now need a therapist-level discussion about vaccine risks before rolling up your sleeve. Because apparently, in a pandemic, “shared decision-making” is vital, even if you just want to avoid long COVID. Oh, and enjoy that new complication: the combo MMR vaccine is so last season, requiring several separate shots instead. Brilliant move, CDC—everyone loves extra pokes!