Deadly Oct. 10 explosion marks second in nearly 12 years at TN explosives manufacturer
Acidly: In a miraculously predictable turn of events, a Tennessee explosives factory went up in smokeâagain. Accurate Energetic Systems, renowned for its spectacular safety records, saw multiple fatalities after an explosion, with 19 missing. This isnât their first rodeo; they previously had a blast that left one man dead back in 2014. Apparently, safety violations from 2019 didnât deter them. Who knew the thrill of explosive production came with such risks? Hope youâre enjoying your âgreat daysâ at work, folks!
MarĂa Corina Machado Wins Nobel Peace Prize Despite Trumpâs Campaign
Acidly: Venezuelan opposition leader MarĂa Corina Machado, notorious for her relentless battle against NicolĂĄs Maduro's regime, snagged the Nobel Peace Prize, much to the chagrin of Trumpâwho's been waiting for a nod himself. Living in hiding since Maduro's crackdown, Machado should be thrilled, but can only celebrate in whispers as her supporters languish in jail. Meanwhile, she nods approvingly at U.S. military might against drug boats. Talk about a paradox: fighting for peace while cozying up to intervention. Irony at its finest!
Want to move to Tuscany? This picturesque village is paying people $23,000 to move there
Acidly: Welcome to Radicondoli, Italy: a picturesque village where dreams go to die! Once bustling with 3,000 residents, itâs now a ghost town with 966 inhabitantsâover 100 homes are just lonely shells. Mayor Guarguaglini is throwing cash at the problem, offering âŹ20,000 to buyers and subsidizing rent for two years. Sure, sign up for a decade of living in a "delightful" medieval relic. Love the Arches and Ancient Abandonment aesthetic? This is your place. Hurry, the past is callingâif you can afford the renovation!
The Good Ol'Ads
Mariners vs. Tigers live updates and score for ALDS Game 5
Acidly: Game 5 is here, folks! The Mariners lead 1-0âbecause when in doubt, steal third on a pitch that barely grazed the strike zone. Skubal pitches like he's auditioning for the cannonball team at the local pool, and Kirby's slider-happy approach is sure to make batters question their life choices. With a 68% win probability, Seattle fans can taste victory, or perhaps just their tears if they choke. Stay tuned; this debacle could go either way. But hey, at least itâs entertaining!
'Real Housewives of Potomac' star Wendy Osefo and her husband arrested on fraud charges
Acidly: In a plot twist straight out of a bad reality show, "Real Housewives of Potomac" star Wendy Osefo and her husband Eddie have flipped the script from glamorous to criminal. Indicted for allegedly fabricating a robbery worth over $200,000, the couple claimed they returned home from vacation to find their place ransacked. But, oops! They returned $20,000 worth of âstolenâ goods. Now, facing a buffet of charges (34 in total), theyâre back home and âgratefulâ for supportâeven if it's from their legal team. Cheers!
New species of Jurassic-era 'sword dragon' marine reptile discovered
Acidly: Ah, another day, another ancient creature getting its moment in the spotlight. Meet the Xiphodracon goldencapsis, the "sword dragon" of the Jurassic era. Discovered in England, this ichthyosaur had a flair for the dramatic with its long snout and narrow teeth, apparently perfect for dining on soft sea snacks. Interestingly, the specimen was left to gather dust in a museum until 2024. Who knew fossils were such great procrastinators? But hey, at least one thing's clear: ichthyosaurs were the ocean's trendy predators.
The Good Ol'Ads
In Retaliatory Move, Trump Threatens 100% Tariffs on Chinese Goods
Acidly: In the latest thriller of U.S.-China relations, President Trump toyed with a 100% tariff on all Chinese products. Why? Because China had the audacity to tighten their grip on rare-earth minerals, essential for pretty much everything. Trump, ever the diplomat, threatened to cancel a meeting with Xi Jinping, proving that trade wars really are all about who can throw the biggest tantrum. But let's be real, with past tariffs backfiring harder than a bad stand-up routine, one has to wonder if Trump's bluster is just hot air.
Copilot on Windows can now create Office documents and connect to Gmail
Acidly: Oh, joy! Microsoftâs Copilot chat interface now lets you juggle Word, Excel, and PowerPoint files like a clumsy circus act. Because who wouldnât want a chat bot to create those thrilling spreadsheets and dull presentations for you? Never mind that you could do that yourselfâjust sit back and let the tech do the heavy lifting of mediocrity. If that doesn't scream progress, I don't know what does. So, grab your coffee, and brace yourself for a new level of digital âconvenience.â
Daily 'exercise snacks' linked to better heart and lung function
Acidly: Exercise, the four-letter word no one wants to hear, is apparently easier if you shatter it into tiny pieces â enter "exercise snacks!" Because who has time for a real workout when you can squeeze in five minutes of stair climbing between scrolling through social media? Research shows that for the couch potatoes among us, short bursts of activity might do the trickâwho knew laziness could be so innovative? But let's be real: if you can't manage 150 minutes a week, maybe just lie down and contemplate life's cruel jokes.